ming’s musings

Back in the U.K, I was never really a milk person. Sure, I’d have it on cereal and my tea but I wouldn’t drink it straight, heat some before bedtime or even have milkshakes that often.

In England, milk is incredibly easy to get hold of, fairly cheap and of high quality. The only thing you’d ever have to think about when buying milk in the U.K. is whether to buy skimmed, semi-skimmed or whole.

As usual, it was something I took for granted and didn’t appreciate until I came to China.

Chocapic + Milk = Breakfast Heaven

One day in what must’ve been my first few weeks in China, I was longing for some cereal for breakfast instead of dumplings (Chinese people don’t generally eat cereal for breakfast). So I went to the local supermarket to buy some along with some milk.

To my delight, I found that Chocapic - a superior cereal only available on import in England - is freely available on supermarket shelves in Beijing and I picked up a few boxes and made my way over to the dairy section for some milk.

Arriving at the dairy section, I was greeted by refrigerated shelves and shelves of ’stuff’ in white cartons. Not being able to read Chinese, I picked up a carton which looked ‘milk-like’, one which looked like the carton on the left.

Now, not being able to speak too much Chinese and not being able to read or write any, I prided myself on the accuracy of my guesswork. I had survived for about a month by doing this.






Below was my thought process regarding the said carton.

Back in my apartment, I enthusiastically filled a bowl full to the brim of Chocapic and went to open the carton of milk to pour liberally onto my delicious cereal.

I opened a small pout and tilted the carton towards my Chocapic.

Nothing came out.

I tilted the carton more. Still nothing.

I held the carton vertically above my bowl.

Out came an enormous dollop of thick white gelatinous… stuff.

It was fucking yoghurt disguised in a milk carton.

I sat there in disbelief, open-mouthed with a bowl of Chocapic and a dollop of yoghurt on my kitchen table. I felt… confused and… hollow.

When yoghurt and milk are sold in the same style containers, you’re just asking for trouble. There’d be riots in England if supermarkets started doing that.

It was also false advertising - the windmill, cow and the milky splashes on the carton all point towards milk not yoghurt.

But that’s just a small issue I have with the milk sold here in China.

I can deal with milk cartons.




You’re Taking the Milky

What I can’t deal that well with, however, is the quality of the milk.

Besides the risk of poisoning, I’ve had milk which was so weak (probably skimmed to the point where there was no taste), that I might as well have poured tap water in my Chocapic (yes, I’ve wasted a lot of Chocapic through milk-based trial and error).

From super long-life milk sold on supermarket shelves and milk sold in unwieldy bags, it really is difficult to find milk comparable in quality to milk in the U.K.

Not sure why it’s so difficult, maybe it’s just down to the lack of cows in certain areas or maybe the sheer distances milk has to travel from the udder, say in Mongolia, to refrigerator shelves in Chinese supermarkets in Beijing.




W-udder-ful

My dairy dilemma has ended on a positive note, however.

The best milk I’ve found so far is the aptly-named ‘Wondermilk’.

It’s fresh as it’s made locally, has no additives, tastes like milk, pasteurized, and generally does what it says on the properly-shaped carton - and the carton’s in English.

Hooray!

10 things I want to use milk for but need to buy Wondermilk:


1. Chocapic
2. Tea
3. Milkshake
4. Using it to bring the boys to the yard
5. Mash potato
6. Coffee
7. Lasagne (if I had an oven)
8. Pancakes
9. Hot milk
10. Bread sauce